Channel Hopping


I’m currently sitting in the lounge examining the 1000 or so channels offered on the telebox. Some beautifully diverse, and sometimes bizarre programmes:

1) Polish Rock Music (couldn’t understand much)
2) Yorkshire Radio (ditto :p)
3) Dutch International (great accents talking about cucumbers in greenhouses, and how to cross breed Indian white cucumbers with European ones, apparently “the cucumber of the future” when asked “what’s wrong with current cucumbers”…)
4) Absolute Classic Rock (simply for having to qualify itself)
5) Absolute Xtreme (“new music, no limits”)
6) InsightRadio (station of the RNIB – Royal National Institute of Blind People)
7) Akash Radio (the Bhangra Show with DJ XXL from Unit 14 in Middlesex)
8) ArrwRock (“non stop music on The Arrow”. I may phone them to point out the typo.
9) CC Radio (with Chuck presenting an omnibus of Pastor’s Perspective and the old testament). These guys really know the bible inside out, quite remarkable.
10) EWTN (“Friars intone gregorian chants as visiting priests and prelates concelebrate this sacrament instituted by Christ.”)
11) BBC R n Gael (think this is a Scottish Gaelic station – “aig an am seo bithidh Radio nan Gaidheal a’ tilleadh gu Radio Alba”?)
12) BBC R Ulster (“how rock and roll saved norther ireland: did a concert by U2 and Ash save the Good Friday Agreement?”)

996 ChlLine – up
Imagine a bingo announcer running through all 1000+ channels on a loop. He must get really excited when there’s new channels.

954 Northern Birds
oh dear…

And more “programmes start after 9pm”…
“pay per night, only £5.99…”

886 Psychic TV
Soundbite: “psychics are really wise” talking about “love issues”
090 number

884 AudiChannel
Their target market must be bored people like me channel hopping.

878 ChatBox
Essentially a dating channel with really bad phone-in recordings.

876 GayDateTV
“Meet men from Poland”

820 PeaceTV
Er, right

700-760 non-stop Sky Box Office channels Zzzzzz

659 Shop on TV

Sorry lost the will to live. I doubt I’ll be back for the 600s and lower…


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