A man is feeling lonley. He has no friends, no one to go out to the pub with, so he goes to the pet shop. He has a look around and finally decides on a centipede.

He takes his new best mate home in a box and puts him on the shelf over the fire place.

When pub time comes around, he goes up to the box and says gently to the centipede “hey there mate, want to come to the pub with me?” No reply.

He goes up again a little while later and says, a bit louder this time, “Do you want to go to the pub? have a few drinks, meet a girl/centipede-ette?” Still no reply.

The man is getting a little cheesed off by this, so a few minutes later he goes up to the box again and shouts, “LISTEN YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE THING, DO YOU WANT TO COME TO THE PUB OR NOT?”

This time there is a reply: “Alright, alright, I heard you the first time. I’m putting my bloody shoes on!”



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