Amusingness

27Oct06

 Today was amusing. Whilst mildly bored in one lecture in which I was using my laptop, I decided to play with the bluetooth send function. Two friends of mine also had their laptops out and I presumed the two were the two generically named ‘Laptop Device’ I could see. “SEND” -> pause (has it worked?)… dum di dum… the lecturer pauses “Oh(!), what’s this? “Incoming Item from Thomas’s PowerBook” appears in large on the projector screen…

Couldn’t have given the game away more obviously. Amazingly she didn’t spot it was me and just carried on. Moral of the story, don’t have bluetooth on if you’re a lecturer and I really ought to wait for device names to display what they are in the future.

*chuckle*

I leave you with a “small” collection of terrible jokes pulled from the Uni intranet…

1. Two blondes walk into a building… you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. A man walked into the doctors, he said, “I’ve hurt my arm in several places” The doctor said, “Well don’t go there anymore.”

3. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks are too high.”

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off”.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”

12. “Doc I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.” “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” “It’s not unusual.”

13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” said the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy”

14. Guy goes into the doctor’s. “Doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.” “How’s that?” “Don’t you start.”

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff… boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me “Can you give me a lift?” I said “Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.”

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my Mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think it’s Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other “Your round.” The other one says “So are you, you fat bast**d!”

20. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

21. “You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”

22. Phone answering machine message – “…if you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key.”

23. Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night

24. Is it fair to say that there’d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks.

Advertisements


No Responses Yet to “Amusingness”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: